Sunday, July 20, 2008

Blind Leading the Blind

My friend calls me up and wants me to teach him how to surf. He's going on a trip to Hawaii in August with his girlfriend. When I hear that, I tell him he should just wait and go learn out there on the South Shore.

From what I understand, learning in Waikiki Beach is supposed to be super easy. There was once a friend of a friend who wanted to come out to surf. My friend said, "Yeah, he knows how to surf, he took lessons at Waikiki. He stood up, too." All he needed was for me to supply him a board.

I said, "Sure, tell him to come out. But I won't push him into waves." I pushed my friend because she was 5 feet nothing, weighed nothing, and was cutie. I don't mind pushing cute girls into waves. Pushing guys, well, that's another story. Unless that person is a good friend, it's not something I do.

This guy comes out, I loan him my magic board, and he doesn't get passed the break water. After 15 minutes, he's done. What do I do? I end up pushing this fool into whitewater so he can catch some belly rides. He can't even get up on a wave.

My friend, well, he had some pride and did his best to get to the outside. He didn't get too far before the waves pushed him back. I caught a wave in and then helped him out. He didn't stand at all, but got some belly rides. All in all, he got the feel of the wave pushing the board, nothing more than that. When he gets out to Waikiki, he'll have some fun and that's the most important part.

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Clerks II - July 21, 2006